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Questions and Answers
My horrible self esteem is a result of nasty comments by certain people. I have a giant nose and alot of people have made mean comments about it. My body isnt all that great and I have tyres. I'm 14 years old and I'm sick and tired of this. I want to walk about with my head held high. How do I improve my self esteem?
Start by making a list of all of the things you like about yourself, and taping it up somewhere that you will see it everyday. Then, anytime you think something negative about yourself, replace it with one of the things you have written down. Over time, it will become like a second nature to compliment yourself when feeling down.
Find something that you are really good at, and that you feel good about yourself while doing it, then plan events or hanging out around that one thing. For example, say you are really good about bowling and when you bowl you feel awesome about yourself. Invite some people that make you feel GOOD about yourself, to go bowling with you. It is much easier to be confident and more social when you are doing something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Also, do something like get a haircut, get a manicure or pedicure, or get a new outfit! It's amazing what a confidence boost you get from any of these things. I actually have a website where you can share your story and get self esteem tips! My website is Http://youneedtobeheard.com I also have a website where I create and put together outfits for people online to help boost confidence and self esteem, and that website is Http://danicaliforniaoutfits.com I will create you some outfits! My motto is Real Style, Real You. I also have a blog about self esteem, confidence, fitness, and health! It's Http://IAmFree2BeMe.blogspot.com
Remember that you are beautiful inside and out no matter what people might tell you or what you think of yourself. Hold your head held high and think about all of the things YOU love about yourself. Stand your ground and stay true to yourself and what you believe in. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself and confident. Don't waste your time on those who make you feel bad!
"Always wear an invisible crown on your head" – Author Unknown.
I am 26 and I have suffered from self loathing for many years. Before I thought it was just the way my mind was, but now that I am pregnant I really don't think it is healthy. I really feel as though I ruin things and everyone is so much brighter than me. I am constantly making mistakes too which makes me feel so upset with my logic and decision making – although most of the mistakes were due to feeling destructive, not because I thought it was wise. I am considering counselling but was wondering whether there were any other ways of changing the way you look at yourself. Thank you.
Self esteem/confidence is addressed in section 38, at Http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Some advice, and options: Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I… (insert activity here)..". Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated; there are many options; one is sure to suit you. I have recently encountered another opinion, however, which is that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies.
Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.
Habits take about 30 – 40 repetitions to become established, with most people. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Section 53 at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/self confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself".
Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609
Http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, (you could also enter "self esteem" in their searchbar) because it approaches the building of self esteem using a different, but equally valid method.
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